It’s that time of the year again that we make a long list of promises to ourselves and others. Calling them New Year resolutions, many of these dreams don’t live to see the light of the day because it’s either we don’t have the discipline to see them through or they are just not achievable.
As lovers, we have a duty to whip up the excitement in our relationship. It’s amazing how people make a year’s resolutions without making any for their relationship. Little do they know that all other resolutions can become a reality when they are fruitfully enjoying this union.
Love is beautiful and we should always make it look as such. Whoever God brings our way, we have the responsibility to make them better.
Every garden that looks green has been carefully, tediously and dutifully cultivated by someone. It didn’t just happen. Having a great relationship demands work from each ‘shareholder’. One needs to be intentional about its success. It won’t just happen!
1. Read a book together!
I know what a chore it is to sit one’s butts down to read in Africa, especially during such times where there are so many ‘important’ schedules calling— assignments, deadlines, meetings, rehearsals etc. One should, however, know that reading is as important as every other activity, especially doing so together.
Reading a book together can be so romantic. A couple that reads together often is able to cultivate a lifestyle of communication particularly when they discuss the content of the book after each chapter. They are able to relate it to their life and how they may be currently going through an ordeal which can be solved in a particular manner.
Reading alone comes with so many benefits. Reading together comes with even more advantages. Aside adding to your body of knowledge, it becomes a time you both are able to romance intellectually and massage each other’s thoughts.
If you are not reading together with your special one already, you can start probably next month. Pick a book of common interest (or importance) to you both. It could be on finance. It could be on personal development or any field. Set timelines. Check on each other’s progress. Start with a book, at least, every quarter. As you get better at it, you can even read a book a month.
A couple that reads together reaps together.
2. Travel to spend time with each other!
I know someone just screamed, “With which money!?” Haha. No matter how hard things may be, we should try as much as we can to prioritize time we spend together. In fact, we should include it in our monthly/yearly budget.
In this part of our world, when ‘traveling together’ is mentioned, what comes to mind is either a funeral or wedding. We have it at the back of our minds that it is only the rich who take some time off their busy schedules to go cool off at the countryside resorts and what have you.
In 2019, make it a resolution to travel with your sweetheart, at least, once— and it should not be a funeral or party. It will amaze you most of the great places across the nation where both of you can spend some quality time together may not really cost as much as you have assumed. You may want to take a weekend off and go spend it in a beautiful resort somewhere in the Volta region or even Ada.
A change in environment is refreshing. It will be a time you both can take a retrospect of your lives and the future of the relationship in general. Like a retreat, you both can reflect on your individual goals and those of the relationship, map out new strategies, give timelines and set out to make some things work.
The only time you both should spend some quality time out of the comfort of your home should not be your honeymoon. A relationship is a garden. Nurture it!
3. Challenge each other to pursue that dream they have always talked about!
Sometimes, life happens and when it does, it leaves us with some unpleasant scars. We sometimes give up on our dreams because of how unsuccessful we have been at achieving such. We sometimes let go our heart desires because we ran out of money or some other resources.
In 2019, as a couple, challenge yourselves to go back to those abandoned dreams. One step at a time, you can make it. Gradually, you both can inch closer to making those dreams happen.
Challenge her to go for that Masters degree. If it means cutting down on some pleasures to save towards it, it will be enough a good start. Get her to start that course in fashion. Don’t just complain about her body weight. Challenge her to shed some of it!
This year, dare him to start applying for his dream job again. Challenge him to write that book. Things may have not worked in times past but hey… this is a new season!
2019 should be your year of making your spousal one a better person. Constantly make sure he/she is pursuing a dream they have left on the shelves!
4. Study the Bible together!
Every relationship ought to have spiritual goals. If you both are Christians, it goes without saying that the Bible should be the foundation of your union.
In this day where everyone is so busy chasing after promotions and the next job with the fatter salary, we barely make time for our spiritual growth as individuals let alone as a couple. We hardly include spiritual growth in our resolutions.
In 2019, make it a must to study the Bible together as a couple. Take a character like David or Daniel or even Esther. Make time to study them into detail; their weaknesses and strengths. Compare their roles to modern day living and see how relevant (or irrelevant) they will be to contemporary society. Make sure to draw lessons from such characters to make your relationship better. A union built on God’s word shall always stand sure.
A relationship is an investment. We must invest into such spiritually, financially, intellectually, you name them.
5. Exercise together!
Yes, you hate to exercise but you are not alone. There are a lot more people out there like you. Everyone wants to have a great body but no one wants to exercise.
Marriage brings us potbellies. It brings us extra flesh we never bargained for. That’s why in 2019, each of you should be the other’s health police. Ensure that they are eating and exercising well.
As much as possible, exercise together. There’s nothing as romantic as a couple waking up the morning of each weekend and hitting the road with hands tucked into each other’s. Have an exercise plan. Sign up with a gymnasium if possible. If it’s a distant relationship, check on each other’s progress with periodic reminders.
Exercise and stay healthy together. Getting that body shape is possible. It’s only a gym away!
The writer is a playwright and Chief Scribe of Scribe Communications, an Accra-based writing company (www.scribecommltd.com).