Have you read “But I don’t want monkeys!”? If you haven’t, it won’t be a bad idea to get to it now before you continue.
It presents an all too familiar wedding planning scenario – boy proposes to girl, girl accepts, plans begin for the wedding, and then on numerous occasions the couple realize they’re not on the same page. And it’s not just once or twice. It’s on way too many instances for your liking. It becomes very easy for you to start questioning your decisions. But you honestly know you don’t want to call off the wedding.
Here’s the good news – you are not alone. The pressures that come with wedding planning have the tendency to make tempers flare more often than on a regular day. And the better news is that there are ways to manage the moments of heat so even the wedding planning can bring out the best of you as individuals and as a couple.
#1: When you two want different things
Very obviously, the chances of you agreeing on everything are very low. As a matter of fact, it’s probably a sign that one person is secretly making a lot of compromises and may not be too happy about it. Bride wants a huge wedding, groom wants to keep it intimate. You both want flowers but you want different types. And the list goes on and on.
Needless to say, you can’t have it all.
To resolve it, you and your partner should make a list of what you each want. Then you could take turns picking items on your respective lists. In some cases, you would be able to meet each other halfway. Definitely, you may not be happy with some of each other’s decisions but keep in mind that the day is for you both. Doing this successfully would ensure that your wedding day is a reflection of both of you.
#2: When it seems your partner doesn’t care
Planning a wedding can get very stressful. And it gets more annoying when your partner appears not to care. You might not want to bring it up because you don’t want to fight. But there are moments that you just can’t help getting angry inwardly. You might actually explode at a point. I mean, how can he be watching a match on TV when you’ve been making calls all day trying to get a new DJ?
Whether you’re secretly seething or you’re blowing up each time, it’s still not a good look for you two. Try to divide up wedding-related tasks as equally as possible. If you’re not happy about doing most of the work, calmly talk to your partner about your concerns. You can even make things convenient for you both by giving specific tasks he or she can help out with, rather than grumbling that they’re not contributing. For all that you know, he or she even feels left out in the planning process.
#3: In-laws – yikes!
Let’s face it – from the wedding day onwards, your in-laws are going to be a big part of your life. That is if they haven’t already started asserting their presence.
And the wedding day and the days of planning beforehand are going to be some of the days that they’ll choose to display their drama full swing. There may be times that you wouldn’t be on the same page. And probably for the sake that they’re blood, your partner could end up taking their side a lot of times.
Perhaps, it’s the movies acting up again, but this is often the “it’s them or me” moment.
It’s not the best move to make, especially since your in-laws become your family too after marriage. Instead, talk to your partner about your concerns about his or her family. The person would be in a better position to diplomatically settle any differences that come up. Establishing healthy boundaries with in-laws during your wedding planning phase is a great precedent to a happy marriage.
#4: When issues of money come up
Debates on money can be hotter than you expect, especially when you’re working on a very tight budget. You may feel that your partner is being too thrifty or too extravagant.
It’s necessary to be open and honest about issues pertaining to money from scratch. Create a budget for the wedding as soon as possible so that you both can be held accountable for how much you’re spending. Both of you should keep in mind that overspending in one area means you’ll have to cut corners in another.
#5: When the planning becomes overwhelming
It might not necessarily be an issue between you two. But the planning can be so tiring and time consuming that you hardly have any personal time any longer. And if you’re someone whose stress tolerance is low, you could become a bridezilla or – probably a less common occurrence – a groomzilla.
Now, this is a great time to remind you that you don’t have to do it all. If you’re getting too overwhelmed with the planning, enlist the help of your friends and family. You can even consider hiring a wedding planner so you have more time to spend with the love of your life.
So there you have it. Wedding planning doesn’t have to be so ghastly after all. And this is probably the best news you’ll hear today – the smoothness of planning your wedding with Ayefro Inc will present even fewer opportunities for you to fight with your partner. Download the app here.